What is Gottman Couples Therapy?
There are many different types of couples therapy to consider if you feel like your relationship isn’t where it should be. But, the Gottman method is one of the best, thanks to its research-backed approach designed to improve the strength of romantic relationships.
Gottman couples therapy utilizes the sound relationship house theory to help couples understand and improve their relationship. While it’s often used to help married couples, you don’t have to tie the knot for this method to be effective.
Let’s take a closer look at what you can expect from Gottman couples therapy so you can determine if it’s the right solution for you and your partner.
What Does Gottman Therapy Help With?
Every relationship has problems sometimes. Even the happiest, healthiest couples argue and don’t agree about everything. The Gottman method is, again, research-backed, but it takes core principles and applies them to every couple’s unique situation.
Therefore, it’s effective for couples who are dealing with infidelity, emotional distance, or just patterns of frequent arguing. You might not even feel like your relationship is in trouble, but you want to improve your bond and learn how to better understand each other, especially when it comes to dealing with conflicts.
What to Expect
Using the sound relationship house theory, the Gottman method focuses on “floors,” comparing a relationship to a secure house. Together, you’ll move through those floors to make sure each one is stable before stepping up to the next one.
You’ll start by building love maps. Essentially, this serves to lay the foundation of where your relationship is and what you and your partner’s psychological worlds look like. From there, you’ll share appreciation for each other and discuss the things you like about one another.
The next floor asks both partners to start better recognizing and understanding each other’s needs. You’ll learn to see when your partner wants attention and closeness. Picking up on those cues can increase trust and intimacy within your relationship.
As you continue to move forward, you’ll cover conflict management, you’ll be able to change your perspective on your partner so you don’t see your differences as flaws in their character, and you’ll learn how to support each other’s ideas, goals, and dreams.
Finally, you’ll learn to understand the things that mean the most to you as a couple. You’ll build trust and commitment along the way to help you recognize that you’re a team. Even when you disagree on things, you’ll see that you ultimately have the same goals. You just might have different ways of achieving them.
What Are the Benefits?
Gottman couples therapy breaks conflicts down into two categories — resolvable and perpetual. Dealing with resolvable conflicts is relatively easy. You can probably get through them on your own. But, when you’re dealing with perpetual conflicts, it’s often difficult to break those patterns on your own.
Gottman therapy not only helps to break down negative patterns and replace them with positive ones but it isn’t meant to be a quick fix to temporary solutions. It teaches you the necessary skills to deal with long-term conflicts. The techniques you learn in therapy can be carried through your relationship forever.
As you work through the stages of Gottman therapy, you’ll improve the underlying friendship between you and your partner. You’ll learn how to effectively manage conflict together. You’ll create shared goals that will give you something to look forward to together as you walk hand-in-hand into your future.
If you’re interested in learning more about Gottman couples therapy and how it can help your relationship, feel free to contact me for information or to set up an appointment.
