5 Ways to Show Up for Yourself in Your Relationship
The relationship you have with yourself is just as important as the one you have with your partner. If you’ve been in a romantic relationship for a while, it’s understandable and normal for things to shift over time. You might be out of the honeymoon phase, and maybe you’ve fallen into a comfortable routine or pattern with your partner.
Unfortunately, that comfort can sometimes cause you to lose your sense of identity. You become a unit (which is good) but forget to show up for yourself as an individual. Thankfully, there are ways to remedy that and strike a healthy balance. Let’s take a look at a few ways you can—and should—show up for yourself in your relationship.
1. Be Mindful
Mindfulness is more than just a buzzword. It’s an effective practice that can boost your self-actualization and help you stay focused on the present. Far too often in today’s busy world, it’s easy to get caught up in the “noise” of what’s going on—even in your relationship.
Practicing mindfulness allows you to let go of stress, silence the noise, and think solely about what’s going on right now. It can help you feel more centered and in control of a particular moment, allowing you to truly hear and understand your thoughts.
2. Limit Distractions
If you’re still having a hard time cutting through the noise of the world, eliminate as many distractions as possible in your relationship. That might include unplugging the WiFi or going “phone-free” for a while.
These distractions can impact you as an individual and as a couple. If you’re not really feeling like yourself or you feel like they’re causing extra chaos in your relationship, make the conscious decision to limit them.
3. Know Your Worth
Do you tend to “give in” to whatever your partner says? Maybe it’s something you’ve done from the beginning, so it’s subconsciously become your role in the relationship. Even if it hasn’t necessarily caused problems, it can take a toll on your sense of self-worth and your confidence.
It’s important to understand and value your worth in and out of your relationship. What makes you great? What are your best characteristics? When you take time each day to focus on those positive things about yourself, you’ll grow your confidence and might take on a stronger role within your relationship.
4. Be an Active Communicator
Communication is a key factor in any successful relationship. But it can’t be one-sided. While being an active listener is important, you can’t be afraid to speak up, either. Communicating your needs, wants, and feelings are some of the best ways to build intimacy and closeness with your partner. It also ensures you don’t lose yourself and the things you value.
So, while being open and vulnerable about things isn’t always easy in a relationship, it’s necessary. Take the first step and express yourself. You’ll be glad you did.
5. It’s Okay to Say No
Once you’ve let go of the distractions and you’ve started to speak up for yourself, understand that it’s also okay to set healthy boundaries in your relationship. Saying “no” to certain things doesn’t mean you’re not a good partner. It means you’re taking care of yourself first.
Of course, how you go about saying “no” makes a difference. Be mindful of how you present yourself, and consider explaining to your partner why saying no is important to you in certain situations. Again, it’ll improve communication and your relationship.
You don’t have to lose your sense of self in a relationship. You should be able to put yourself first, and your partner should support that. In fact, when you do show up for yourself, you’re more likely to enjoy your partnership and feel more secure in where you’re going as an individual and as part of a couple.
